


Requiem for a Dream

by caramiro



Category: EXO (Band), Figure Skating RPF, f(x)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Post-Concussion Syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 07:49:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5282702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caramiro/pseuds/caramiro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yixing and Soojung have an Olympic dream, but a life-changing injury forces them to make a choice</p>
            </blockquote>





	Requiem for a Dream

**Author's Note:**

> \- Written for thegameseason @ LJ. Original can be found [here](http://thegameseason.livejournal.com/8447.html).  
> \- I’ve only been a fan of figure skating for more than a year. I confess that among the four disciplines under it, ice dance is the one I’m least familiar with. Writing this has been both fun and educational. For more information, I made some notes [here](http://pseudoreports.livejournal.com/16401.html).  
> \- Many thanks to Trisha, Bea, and Yuki for helping make this possible, meaning making my Google Doc consist of 50% fic, 25% screaming/commentary, and 25% helpful advice

Yixing pinches himself as he skates into the rink at the Gangneung Ice Arena. As the announcer calls his name, he hears the crowd roar and the applause that comes with it. Coach Im gently pats him on the back before he skates to the center of the rink. He lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding as some members of the audience wave their flags and banners with his name and face on them.  
  
He’s about to skate in what is possibly the biggest competition in his life, in a country he has come to call home. His heartbeat goes into overdrive, but a gentle squeeze of his hand reminds him he’s not alone. That’s why he has come to love ice dance—his partner has his back, and he also has hers.  
  
The music starts to play, and the least they can do is to give the home crowd a show they can be proud of, and possibly never forget. He—no— _they_  have come a long way to get to this point, and there’s no way he’s going to mess this up for both of them.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Yixing is only six years old when his mother drops him off at All Star Ice Rink, Solana Mall in Beijing. Their family has just moved from Changsha to Beijing and there’s no one she can trust to watch over him while she and his father are working. His mother is left with no choice but to leave him at the first place she sees bustling with lots of activity. Whether it’s to give him something to do after school or an attempt to get him to make new friends, Yixing doesn’t know. He clings to his mother’s leg, hoping that someone will save him from whatever it is his mother is up to as she talks to a pretty, skinny lady who looks to be the same age as the actresses in those evening dramas his mother likes watching.  
  
Before he realizes what’s happening, he finds himself wearing a pair of skates and is being led to the ice. “Try it, you might like it,” his mother says as she pushes Yixing into the rink.  
  
Yixing feels the tears in his eyes as his butt hits the cold, hard ice. A shadow looms over him, and he looks up at the lady person his mother was talking to before she pushed him. Instead of laughing, she pulls him from the ice and shows him how to skate without falling. He’s not particularly interested in skating. But then, he might as well try and learn something while he’s here.  
  
“At least you only fell once. Now, try doing it without me,” the lady says as she lets go of his hand. “Just do what I told you and you should be fine.”  
  
It’s not so bad, Yixing admits to his mother when she picks him up an hour later. By then, he can skate without holding on to anything. He’s not particularly excited to go back, but at least it’s more fun than sweating because of trying to shoot or kick a ball.  
  
Despite this, he finds himself returning to the rink almost daily. He has befriended Im Yoona, the nice teacher from his first day. It turns out she’s a former member of the Korean National Skating Team and now works as a coach and choreographer for the younger members of the Chinese National Team. She’s at the rink to look for students who could possibly have potential to join the team.  
  
Yixing doesn’t give it much thought until he catches the telecast of the 2002 Salt Lake City Olympics. Although Russia’s Alexei Yagudin wins the competition, it’s China’s representative Li Chengjiang who catches his attention. If someone from his country can skate for the world to see, then so can he. After all, no one’s ever seen a figure skater from Changsha before. He can be the first skater from his hometown, and nobody can stop him.  
  
Since then, he finds himself looking forward to his lessons, as each one is one step closer to his dream of being the first skater from Changsha. One year later, Coach Im invites him to try out for the national team, despite her comments on the lack of strength in his jumps. He finds himself training harder than ever, and soon enough, he finds himself moving from his home to the Capital Indoor Stadium where the most of the national athletes train and live. He eventually befriends Song Nan, who has been skating for much longer than Yixing has.  
  
Despite the additional help he got from Nan, his jumps still lack the strength and height that his coaches would want to have, but his coaches always wish his maturity and artistry would rub off on the rest of the team. After years of finishing close to last during Nationals and at the Junior Grand Prix circuit, his coaches encourage him to try ice dance. (“There’s no jumping,” Coach Im tells him. “And you can show off your talent better.”) Yixing doesn’t really have a choice, especially if he wants to keep his Olympic dreams alive.  
  
He is paired with training mate Wang Shiyue. They’re good friends and they think they work will together. However, they end their partnership in less than a year due to the lack of chemistry their coaches want from them. Shiyue ends up with Liu Xinyu, while Yixing loses hope after the fifth partner he’s tried in three months.  
  
One day, Coach Im suggests that he searches for a partner in Korea with her. Yixing isn’t interested in representing any nation other than China, but the bloodbath of at least fourteen ice dance pairs during the 2012 nationals makes him shudder. (“If you represent Korea, you are more likely to represent them in international events,” Coach Im says as they watch Korean Nationals over the Internet. “See? Besides Kim Yuna in ladies, there’s not much competition there.”  
  
Besides, he also can’t say no to Coach Im’s promise of authentic Korean fried chicken.  
  
  
  
  
  
Once Yixing arrives in Korea, he doesn’t get the fried chicken Coach Im promised him. Instead, Yixing is whisked off to the Taeneung Training Center, where he will be staying. Coach Im tells him to get some sleep, since he’ll be starting his Korean and English lessons the following day and meeting his partner in a week. He also meets his roommate, singles skater Kim Jinseo, who can’t speak a single word of Chinese. In fact, Yixing butchers his name after Coach Im introduces them, while Jinseo accidentally swears at Yixing when he meant to say “nice to meet you.” But they manage to communicate (and laugh) through translation apps and sign language. If this is how things go, maybe coming to Korea isn’t so bad after all.  
  
By the time Yixing and Coach Im arrive at the rink in a week’s time, the first people he sees are a couple and a girl with long black hair tied in a ponytail. Yixing shudders as the girl’s steely gaze lands on him. He takes a step behind Coach Im, who chuckles as she pushes him forward.  
  
“Yixing, meet coaches Aaron Lowe and Megan Wing,” Coach Im says, as the couple stands up and shakes his hand. “And this is your new partner, Jung Soojung.”  
  
Soojung is a former singles skater who was born and raised in Los Angeles, California. She changed federations from USA to Korea due to her parents’ relocation back to Seoul a few years ago. According to Coach Im, she switched to ice dance earlier this year because of the depth of ladies singles skaters.  
  
Their coaches like whatever chemistry it is they see between them during the tryout, and soon, they also meet their manager Shim Changmin. Yixing has arrived at a good time, Changmin says, because the Korean government is willing to grant foreign athletes dual citizenship so that they may compete at the Olympics in the future. There’s no way they will qualify for Sochi, but they can aim to qualify for the 2018 Pyeongchang Olympics instead.  
  
As a team, their first assignments are the Junior Grand Prix events in Bosphorus and Germany. They end up missing JGP Bosphorus event as they’re still waiting for the International Skating Union to grant permission for Yixing's change of country. Luckily, he is cleared to represent Korea just in time for JGP Germany. They finish in fifth place at their debut in Germany. They also make their first appearance at the World Junior Championships at the end of the season and finish in twelfth.  
  
The following season, also known as Olympic season, they compete at the Junior Grand Prix events in Slovakia and Austria and finish in fourth place in both competitions. During Korean Nationals, Yixing and Soojung place in second behind Min Yura / Timothy Koleto and ahead of Kim Rebeka / Kirill Minov. Although Kim Yuna, Park Soyoun, and Kim Haejin are the only figure skaters representing Korea at the Olympics, the entire Team Korea ends up having a sleepover at the dorms watching and cheering for their idol and their friends—not to mention, screaming in outrage at the results. Soojung and Yixing also end up being selected to represent Korea at the Four Continents Championships, where they place fifteenth, and the Junior World Championships, where they place sixth.  
  
Yixing and Soojung make their senior debut during the 2014-2015 season. Their first competition is Nebelhorn Trophy, where they place fifth. At Finlandia Trophy, they place second in total and become the second Korean ice dancing team, after Rebeka and Kirill, to medal at an ISU event. They receive two Grand Prix assignments, the Skate Canada and Cup of China, where they place seventh and third respectively—winning Korea its first Grand Prix medal in ice dance. At Korean Nationals, they end up in second place behind Rebeka and Kirill. They get selected to compete at the Four Continents Championships in Seoul, but they fall short of a medal on home ice by placing in fifth. Although Rebeka and Kirill are chosen to represent the country at the World Championships in Shanghai, Soojung and Yixing end up going in their place due to Kirill’s unresolved boot problems.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A tenth-place finish at their first senior World Championships is the best a Korean ice dance team has ever achieved. It’s not a medal, but it’s impressive for a rookie team in the senior level. The warmth of Soojung’s hand is the only thing that keeps him steady among the flashing cameras aimed at their direction. Who’d have thought that finishing within the Top 10 at Worlds would end up with invitations to participate in ice shows, TV appearances with the rest of the team, and several magazine interviews?  
  
“It’s still all so surreal. We wanted to do well at the World Championships, but we weren’t expecting to rank that high. We were up against the Grand Prix Final medalists, and a bunch of of our other idols,” Soojung answers writer Son Seungwan of  _Vogue Girl Korea_  on the set of their shoot for the magazine. “I don’t know about Yixing, but I was starstruck getting to skate at the same gala with some of the skaters I look up to.”  
  
“Besides being starstruck, seeing and competing against our idols also showed me how much work we have to do in order to catch up with them,” Yixing adds. “We have a long way to go if we want to become medal contenders for the Olympic games.”  
  
“Yes, of course… Let’s talk about next season. Do you already have any plans for at least your short dance? Especially since the new short dance was announced before the World Championships?”  
  
“We’re still working with our choreographers on music choices. It’s the Ravensburger Waltz for the upcoming season, so it will be a bit more difficult than what we’re used to doing,” Soojung admits.  
  
“But it’s going to be exciting. And look at the bright side, at least the season of paso doble is over!” Yixing adds with a laugh.  
  
“Thank God for that!” Seungwan exclaims as they laugh. “You have no idea how many times #ceasethepasos trended on social media!”  
  
“As long as #ceasethewaltzes doesn’t become a thing this season,” Soojung jokes back.  
  
“You mentioned that some of your competitors at Worlds were some of your idols,” Seungwan says the minute they all stop laughing. “Who are some ice dancers you look up to?”  
  
“Hmm...definitely the reigning Olympic champions Meryl Davis and Charlie White of USA and Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir of Canada,” Soojung replies. “I love how both teams are so passionate when they skate. I’d love to take notes if ever I’d get the chance to watch any of these teams train.”  
  
“I agree with Soojung, but I also have to add Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean of Great Britain,” Yixing adds. “Besides being legends, I love how much creative input they had in their programs and how they always seem to be able to tell a story. That’s our ultimate regret, I guess… not getting to compete against legends like those three.”  
  
“Most of the skaters you mentioned are those who have already retired or taken the season off, but are there any particular skaters you got starstruck by at Shanghai?” Seungwan asks.  
  
“Maia Shibutani, Elena Ilinykh, Madison Chock and Kiira Korpi are definitely more beautiful in person. Photos and videos do not do them justice,” Yixing says as Soojung laughs beside him. “And of course, I’m Chinese, so seeing Pang Qing and Jian Tong will always make me starstruck.”  
  
Yixing doesn’t like that shit-eating grin on Soojung’s face and feels his ears turn red the minute Soojung starts to talk. “You should have seen how much he was stuttering when he was asking to get photos with Kiira and Elena!” she says in between giggles. “He could barely get the words out that I ended up asking them on his behalf!”  
  
Yixing rolls his eyes. “Shut up, Soojung. Please. Who was the one who needed Soyoun and Haejin to go with her to approach Joshua Farris and Guillaume Cizeron?” He smirks as Soojung starts hitting his arm, muttering at him to stop. “Not to mention, trying not to squeal when you finally had photos with Yuzuru Hanyu, Denis Ten, and Javier Fernández? But my favorite part was you muttering ‘Alex Shibutani, why are you so attractive?’ every five minutes.”  
  
“YAH!” Soojung shouts as Yixing laughs, getting out of the headlock she tried trapping him in. “I wasn’t the only one! Soyoun and Haejin were like that too!”  
  
From the corner of his eye, he can see Seungwan smiling at them. “You’re so lucky, Soojung seonsu!” she squeals. “I wouldn’t blame you at all. He IS Alex Shibutani seonsu… If I were in your place, I’d probably be making weird faces and noises after the photo was taken...”  
  
Once their laughter dies down, Seungwan hums. “You two are quite comfortable with each other, almost as if you’ve known each other all your lives. How do you two manage to get along? I mean, Soojung seonsu grew up in America and Yixing seonsu came from China, places with two very different cultures and languages. Did you ever have any incidents wherein you misunderstood each other because of these differences?”  
  
Yixing and Soojung exchange glances before laughing. “We’d be here all day if you asked us to tell you everything!” Soojung says in between giggles.  
  
“How about the one you’ll never let each other live down?”  


  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s a month after Yixing and Soojung first team up, and they have just relocated to Vancouver for training. One day, as he’s about to exit the rink, Soojung shouts his name as she runs toward him.  
  
“Yes?” he asks, hoping she’ll just say what she wants and go. He’s tired and hungry, and his whole body aches. All he wants to do is go home and watch re-runs of awful dramas while Skype-ing with friends from home in China. Is having a relaxing evening too much to ask for?  
  
Besides, it’s not like they talk much outside of practice, even when they were still in Korea. Back then, Soojung always hung out with the lady singles skaters, while he would go with Jinseo, Junehyoung, and Minseok. Maybe he’s at fault for not getting to know his new partner better, but she also hasn’t made a move to befriend him, so they’re even. He can’t help but blink at her as she blocks his way to the exit.  
  
“Dinner. You and me,” Soojung says in her best attempt at Mandarin.  
  
Her eyes penetrate deep into his soul, and Yixing shudders before he can stop himself. It’s not his fault Soojung looks like she can kill him. He makes a mental note to ask the lady singles skaters for tips on how to not cower in fear when Soojung looks at him.  
  
“Come to dinner with us,” Soojung says without much preamble, this time in Korean.  
  
Why does Soojung suddenly want him to join them for dinner? They’ve always gone to dinner without him before so why is today any different?  
  
“Ex…. excuse me?” Yixing asks.  
  
“Let’s. Go. Have. Dinner,” Soojung says as she rolls her eyes and acts like she’s eating.  
  
Yixing frowns. His understanding of Korean isn’t the best, but Soojung doesn’t need to treat him like an idiot. “I understood you the first time,” he mutters. “But why?”  
  
Soojung sighs. “Can’t I actually want to get to know my partner?”  
  
Yixing blinks as Soojung takes his hand. This is probably the longest they’ve talked outside of training. But then again, they don’t share a common language yet. And now, they’ll be going around the streets of Canada and the thought of having to speak English out there makes Yixing’s eye grow wide.  
  
“Zhao Kai is paying, don’t worry,” Soojung adds, apparently thinking he’s worried about money. “Maddie says they wanted to welcome their new training mates... and you never go out after training as it is... so… yeah… Let’s go?” Yixing takes his hand away from Soojung’s grip and gulps.  
  
“I… I don’t know,” Yixing mutters, shaking off Soojung’s grip while hoping she will just think he’s weird and leave him alone. “I don’t go out at all…”  
  
“Come on, Yixing, I know that,” Soojung sighs as folds her arms across her chest. “We haven’t seen much of the city yet and there’s no training tomorrow.”  
  
“No thanks, Soojung,” Yixing sighs as he looks around to find a way around her only to find none.  
  
“Just for tonight? Please? If you don’t like it, we’ll leave you alone.”  
  
“But we have to speak ENGLISH!” Yixing hisses before he can stop himself, gesturing his arms to illustrate his panic.  
  
“So..?” Soojung asks, tilting her head to the side. “What’s the problem?”  
  
Clearly Soojung doesn't see what's wrong here. “English is hard, Soojung!” Yixing groans at her as he slumps against the wall. “Unlike you, I don’t get it that much. I’d rather not speak it if I can get away with it!”  
  
Yixing’s ears and neck suddenly got hot as Soojung raises her eyebrows at him and giggles. “That’s it, Yixing? You don’t go out because you don’t like speaking English?”  
  
“Yes, Soojung,” Yixing sighs. “Now will you please let me be?”  
  
Yixing gulps as Soojung’s grin suddenly turns sinister. “Nope. All the more reason you’re coming with us. You need to practice!” she says as she takes his trolley bag with one hand and his hand with the other. “Maddie! Zhao Kai! Wait for us!”  
  
Yixing is too tired to struggle as his stubborn partner pulls him to the door. This is going to be a long, long night.  
---  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“Your English and Korean have improved a lot since then, Yixing seonsu. At least you’re not that much of a hermit anymore, are you?” Seungwan remarks as Yixing pulls Soojung closer to him. “Not to mention, Soojung seonsu seems comfortable speaking in Mandarin, as I saw during both the Grand Prix circuit and the World Championships. Also, you two are friendlier with each other now than you say you were in that story. How’d you two eventually get along?”  
  
“Ever since that night with Maddie and Zhao Kai, I realized that I should have understood the mental place Yixing was coming from,” Soojung answers. “I mean, I was once in his shoes, when I first moved from LA to Seoul. If it wasn’t for Soyoun, Haejin, and Hojung reaching out to Rebeka and me when we first came, I don’t know how we’d have lived! I thought that maybe I should do the same for him.”  
  
“Soojung started being nicer to me and helping me with my Korean and English lessons, and she also introduced me to what is now my favorite fried chicken place” Yixing adds with a chuckle. “She’s fun company once she melts her ice princess persona.”  
  
“I just didn’t know how to approach you back then!” Soojung protests as she laughs. “I have to admit Yixing’s brand of weirdness and forgetfulness is endearing once you can actually wrap your head around it.”  
  
Seungwan nods. “That’s good to hear. After all, some teams hardly hang out with each other outside training. Don’t you two ever get sick of each other?”  
  
“Sometimes, we do,” Yixing jokes as Soojung pokes his dimple with her free hand. “We have friends both part of and outside the team to go with when we need space from each other.”  
  
“How often do you need space from each other?” Seungwan asks.  
  
“It’s usually when the stress and fatigue of training get to us,” Soojung replies. “You know how there are some days we just need to see something that well… isn’t the rink? That’s what happens.” Yixing blows at Soojung’s hair as she pauses, smiling and looking the other way as she glares at him.  
  
“But it’s just a day or two at most,” Soojung continues, rolling her eyes at Yixing. “Besides, it’s weird ending the day without saying goodnight to each other. Even when we fight, we usually forgive each other by the end of the day.”  
  
Yixing follows the direction of Seungwan’s eyes on their intertwined hands. Soojung’s long hair tickles his shoulder as she leans on him. Yixing can see the smile on Seungwan’s lips—it’s the same one Soyoun, Haejin, and Hojung have when they’re planning something.  
  
“I know you’d rather not answer any personal questions, but I feel like there’s something I need to know. Some ice dance teams tend to get married in real life. Case and point, your coaches Megan Wing and Aaron Lowe,” Seungwan says, her grin getting wider with each word she says. “So, are you two dating or not?”  
  
“I can keep it off-record if you want?” Seungwan adds, looking at Changmin who just smirks at Yixing and Soojung. He’s trained them long enough for them to know how to answer, but this is the first time a reporter has actually asked about their relationship status. Most of them are content to ask about their training and how they intend to prepare for the next season, and probably try and create some sort of rivalry angle. Some have asked about their ideal types. Then again, there’s nothing to hide. Yixing turns to Soojung who smiles at him before she turns back to Seungwan.  
  
“Yes,” Soojung says, smiling at Yixing, who sees himself reflected in her eyes. “We’re dating.”  
  
Yixing chuckles at the slight surprise on Seungwan’s face before she smiles. “Well, you guys certainly didn’t beat around the bush,” she chuckles. “Since when?”  
  
“Our fellow athletes and our fans have been nothing but supportive. We’re not idols who have to hide our relationship,” Yixing answers as Soojung snorts. “Honestly, I can’t really remember, since the lines between love and friendship just kind of got blurry. It just came almost naturally to us.”  
  
Son Seungwan is one of the few reporters genuinely interested in figure skating and ice dancing, but no one can say no to a love story. Maybe this is why both Yixing and Soojung only chuckle as she asks her next question.  
  
“Who said ‘I love you’ first?”  
  
“I did.”  


  
  
  
  
  
  


  
Once Yixing and Soojung manage to get over that bridge of being skating partners to friends, life has actually become more fun. Living in Korea has become more bearable, and he doesn’t find himself missing his motherland that much. Although he still has Skype conversations with his family and friends, he doesn’t get as homesick as he used to anymore. He still misses them, but he finds himself talking to them about nothing but Soojung. When they first met, a love life was on the bottom of his priorities. It still is, but somehow, seeing Soojung being friendly with other boys always makes a small part of him irritable and miserable.  
  
Yixing and Soojung are walking at a park during one of Team Korea’s MT sessions in preparation for the 2014-2015 season (also known as the only time the KSU would turn a blind eye to drunk minors), as well as an intimate goodbye party for Yuna. They have just escaped a wild game of Nunchi in favor of getting some fresh air.  
  
“Who’d have thought that Queen Yuna could drink so much?” Yixing laughs, as they hear Yuna’s yells of ‘CHEATER!’ all the way out here.  
  
Yixing blinks as he hears some of of war cry before Minseok crashes into them and breaks into a run. Behind him, Yuna uncharacteristically screams at anyone who’d listen to get out of her way as she chases after him.  
  
“That was… something,” Yixing settles as Yuna’s back disappears from their line of sight. “Hopefully, someone in the hostel got that on camera.”  
  
“I know, right? “I have never seen Yuna unni so drunk and angry!” Soojung nods before she falls on her knees laughing. There’s something contagious about her laughter that Yixing ends up falling to the ground, laughing with her.  
  
“Hey, Yixing,” Soojung says once their laughter dies down. “What was the craziest thing you’ve ever done while you were drunk?”  
  
Yixing chuckles as memories of his last Christmas in China come back to him. “I don’t drink,” he confesses. “My alcohol tolerance is weak, as I discovered one bottle of beer can take me out. That’s why I avoid anything to do with alcohol.”  
  
“I guess it’s improved since then,” Soojung says. “You’ve already had god-knows-how-many shots of soju and we’re still having a coherent conversation.”  
  
“I guess so, but then again, we were all targeting Yuna noona so…”  
  
In the middle of their conversation, Yixing’s hand finds Soojung’s. This isn’t the first time they’ve held hands, but that was during practice and when they’re in crowded places. They’re not in practice and there’s not large crowd that can make them get lost. There’s suddenly butterflies in Yixing’s stomach and he lets out a loud breath. Soojung’s slim fingers fit well with his own. It’s a different feeling than he’s used to, but he likes it.  
  
This feeling is short-lived as Soojung tries to move her hand away. Yixing isn’t sure whether it’s the alcohol giving him extra courage to be selfish just once, but he tightens his grip on her hand and tugs her closer to him. He looks down at Soojung and sees her cheeks are slightly flushed and a tiny small plays on her lips.  
  
Yixing can’t help but smile as Soojung’s hair blows in the wind. The way the moon shines against her clear skin, making her look angelic despite wearing a blouse and shorts instead of a halo and wings.  
  
“很漂亮”  _You’re beautiful._  
  
He tucks the stray strands of Soojung’s hair behind her ear, like he sees the leading men do in those romantic dramas he and Jinseo would not-so-secretly watch in their dorm room.  
  
“What?” Soojung asks, frowning at him and Yixing curses to himself. He wasn’t supposed to say that out loud. Maybe the alcohol is affecting him more than he thinks as his brain-to-mouth filter is weakening. He can only wish she can’t hear the pounding of his heart as she leans closer.  
  
“Are you more drunk than I thought, or are you just speaking in Chinese?” Soojung frowns. “Maybe we should go inside?”  
  
“J-just speaking Chinese,” Yixing stutters. He’s not in the mood to go inside yet. This is one of the few times he has Soojung to himself outside training, and without anyone else interrupting.  
  
Soojung lets out a soft sigh of relief. “If it wasn’t for your smile, I almost thought you were swearing at me earlier,” she chuckles. “When you speak in Chinese when talking to your mother, sometimes, you sound like you’re angry with someone. But you aren’t fighting with her every time she calls, right?”  
  
“No,” Yixing laughs. “But I have to say that to me, English sounds like you have food in your mouth all the time. So many ‘Shhhh’ sounds.”  
  
“I do not have food in my mouth when I talk!” Soojung shakes her head laughing. “Are we seriously going to have a somewhat-drunken conversation about languages?”  
  
“We’re already here, so we might as well?” Yixing laughs. “You’ve been teaching me Korean and English, so why don’t I try teaching you Chinese this time?”  
  
“Are you sure?” Soojung asks, raising an eyebrow at him. A small part of his heart feels shot at her doubt in his sincerity.  
  
Yixing frowns as he pokes Soojung’s arm with his free hand. “When have I ever let you down?”  
  
“You’ve dropped me from lifts, stolen my food, woken me up in the middle of the night to ask me what a word means,” Soojung mutters, ticking off all his wrongdoings with her fingers. He rolls his eyes and sighs as Soojung says all the bad things she’s convinced he’s done. He barely catches her whisper “... not taking any hint about my feelings” before she looks away.  
  
Not take any hint about her feelings? Yixing blinks as Soojung lets go of his hand and stares at the moon above. Soojung’s never been the type to show how she really feels, preferring to adapt a blank face to almost everything. “What do you mean?”  
  
“What do I mean what?” Soojung asks, with her back to him.  
  
“Nothing,” Yixing says. Pushing Soojung to talk about things she’d rather not deal with is asking for trouble. “Still want to learn Chinese?”  
  
When Soojung doesn’t respond and continues to walk away, Yixing sighs before an idea hits him.  
  
“我为你心跳 我为你祈祷 ( _My heart beats for you, and I pray for you._ )” Yixing sings the first song that comes to mind. He almost cringes at his choice, but at least, it’s in a language Soojung barely understands. “因为爱让我们能遇到 ( _It is because love let us meet_ ).” Soojung may be an ice princess, and Yixing potentially embarrassing himself is the only way he can get her to speak to him again.  
  
Soojung stops in her tracks, but she still doesn’t face him. At least this is a little progress. Emboldened by this, Yixing continues. “因为你开始燃烧 痛才慢慢治疗 / 我要和你拥抱 牵你的手一起去奔跑 / 你存在的这一秒 会不会是我依靠 ( _It is because you passion is starting to burn now, the pain is slowly cured / I want to embrace you, hold you hand and run together with you / This second that you exist in, will it be my support?_ )”  
  
Yixing blinks as Soojung chuckles. “Now you’ve got my attention, what did you just sing to me?” she asks as she turns around to face him.  
  
She is going to judge him for life if he ever tells her what he just sang. Yixing needs to distract her from that and opts for something else.  
  
“Nothing really,” he says, hoping she can’t see his ears turning red. “I… I just felt like singing?”  
  
Soojung raises an eyebrow at him. “Your hands are shaking. Tell me, what was that?”  
  
Yixing mentally curses his tick of shaky hands when he’s caught in a lie. He needs to try another approach. Now isn’t the best time to tell her what he just sang to her.  
  
“It was nothing,” he sighs, wishing she’d just drop the topic. “It’s just some random song that came in my head.”  
  
“Now I’m curious,” Soojung says, as she walks toward him. “Teach me?”  
  
“It’s a drinking song, one my friends would often sing back then in China,” Yixing says, the first excuse entering his head.  
  
“Liar, you just told me that you don’t drink and you stay away from alcohol and anything to do with it,” Soojung hisses as she swats his arm. “It sounded more like some cheesy song to me.”  
  
As she walks away, Yixing hears her muttering all sorts of expletives under her breath, he barely misses her whisper, “...This is why I’m not ready to trust you with my heart.”  
  
Since when did hearts come into play in this conversation? As far as Yixing knows, he’s the only one hiding any feelings that are more than friendship. It’s unfair for him to burden Soojung with the idea of unrequited love. But with her last words, there could be a chance he isn’t the only one who feels this way?  
  
It’s the alcohol or maybe it’s the challenge in Soojung’s eyes as she walks away that Yixing throws all inhibitions out the imaginary window. “Here’s one thing I would never lie to you about,” he calls out to Soojung. “我爱你.”  
  
There. He finally said it. The secret is out. Unlike everything else he’s said, he can’t take this one back as a joke. His heart pounds as she turns back to face him. “... what did you just say?”  
  
“我爱你,” he repeats, louder this time as he takes a step toward her. “Even though I haven’t taught you that, I think you know what it means.”  
  
_I love you._  
---  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Yixing and Soojung exchange glances as Seungwan squeals at them. “I swear, after this story comes out, Yixing seonsu will be everyone’s ideal type,” she teases with a wink. “Soojung seonsu, please tell us, where can we find guys like him?”  
  
“He’s one of a kind, Seungwan. Sorry,” Soojung laughs as she pokes Yixing’s dimples.  
  
“If I find people like me, I will let you know,” Yixing says as he sneaks a peck on Soojung’s cheek.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
In between media appearances and ice show rehearsals, it’s a miracle they just finished learning the choreography for both the short dance and the free dance. They have yet to work on their exhibition piece, but there’s plenty of time for that. This season, they’re skating to  _Swan Lake_  for the short dance and “My Heart Will Go On” from  _Titanic_  for the free dance.  
  
Although they are confident with the rest of the routine, there’s a lift, which was a last-minute addition to the routine, that still has the entire coaching team worried. Soojung stands on one leg above Yixing’s calf and her body rests on his shoulders, with her other leg resting on his hip. To make things even worse, they aren’t holding on to each other and they are standing back to back.  
  
“If you’re not confident in it, let’s take it out,” Coach Im, who choreographed the lift, says as Soojung almost wobbles during a run-through.  
  
Soojung shakes her head. “We won’t be doing it at Artistry on Ice, but we need to perfect it by the Grand Prix,” she says. “We’re getting closer to the Olympics. We have to step up our game! Right, Yixing?”  
  
Yixing chews his lips as the eyes of the entire coaching team are on him. There are several other difficult lifts they can attempt, and hopefully not as risky. Then, there is also that idea of no risk, no reward. But Soojung’s well-being is more important than getting their levels. He blinks before he looks at Soojung in the eye. “But if we can’t pull it off, we take it out.”  
  
Coach Lowe’s lips are set in a straight line. “One last try, and we call it a day,” he says. “It’s getting late and we can try again tomorrow.”  
  
“Fine,” Soojung agrees. “Let’s go?”  
  
Yixing and Soojung nod as they perform the move right before the lift. Soojung’s supporting leg is shaking and Yixing feels it as they enter into the lift. Much more, her body isn’t leaning on his back like it should have. As Yixing leans forward, probably a little deeper than intended, he hears a scream. The weight of Soojung’s body on his is gone. He turns about and sees Soojung lying on the ice. Yixing’s blood runs cold as Soojung doesn’t respond when he calls her name. He skates over to where she is, and he sees her staring, unblinkingly at the ceiling. Seconds later, Coach Lowe carries her off the ice, as Yixing follows behind them.  
  
Coach Im tells Yixing that Soojung fell while she lost her balance doing the lift and landed on the ice head first. Soojung regains consciousness minutes after an ambulance has arrived to pick them up.  
  
“What... happened?” Soojung asks.  
  
They tell her what happened, as apparently the last thing she remembers is their nearly successful attempt at the lift for their free dance.  
  
This is also what she says to the physician at the hospital once they arrive. It’s a long wait for Yixing as they perform X-rays and a CT scan of her head.  
  
“There’s no indication of serious damage to her brain, as her neurological exam results are normal. However, there are some signs that point to a concussion,” the physician informs them after a few hours. “She needs to stay in the hospital overnight for observation and we have to do neuro checks to make sure that she’s fine.”  
  
“She’s been responding quite well to the neuro checks and it we think can be discharged today,” the physician tells them the next day. “With a few weeks of rest she'll get back and we expect great things from her again. But if it continues, come back to have it checked, since she may experience post-concussion syndrome weeks, months, or a year from now.”  
  
As part of her recovery period, Soojung isn’t allowed to do any strenuous activities, even reading and watching television, or any physical activity. They aren’t certain when Soojung can go back to training, despite her impatient questions of “Can I go back to training yet? What do you think, I'm going to die?!"  
  
“This is my fault,” Yixing croaks one morning as he delivers Soojung’s breakfast to her bed. “I should have been more careful.”  
  
“It’s not your fault. Accidents happen, Yixing, you know that,” Soojung says, smiling at him. “Our coaches don’t blame you, the doctors don’t.  _I_  don’t blame you, and I’m the one lying on the hospital bed.”  
  
Yixing smiles and shakes his head. He doesn’t completely believe that it’s not his fault, but he doesn’t want Soojung to see how devastated he is. He will only stop feeling this way once Soojung is back on the rink with him. While Soojung is recuperating, Yixing has been training with the coaches just so he doesn’t get out of shape and forget their programs. In a way, this is also some sort of mental rehabilitation for him, so that when Soojung returns, he doesn’t fear lifting her. It’s been helpful in some way, and it helps remove the guilt buried inside his chest every time he looks at Soojung.  
  
“Soon, I’ll be back, Yixing,” Soojung says when he tells her about it. “And we’ll be better than ever.”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Yixing and Soojung opted out of the Challenger Series, in order to give Soojung enough time to recover for the Grand Prix circuit. The lift that caused the accident was changed into something less risky, but just as difficult. They were supposed to participate in the Nebelhorn Trophy and the Ondrej Nepela Trophy in order to test their programs, but their coaches had opted for them to withdraw at the last minute, to the displeasure of the Korea Skating Union. Debuting their programs at their first Grand Prix assignment Skate Canada isn’t an ideal plan, but it will have to do.  
  
“At least you’re not the ones competing against Patrick Chan and Henry Lau in their home turf,” Jinseo says over dinner the night before the short dance, after they’ve caught up with each other’s stories.  
  
Junehyoung nods from beside Jinseo. “Yeah, and you’re lucky Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir haven’t decided whether they’ll come back.”  
  
“But there’s Kaitlyn Weaver and Andrew Poje,” Soojung grumbles. “You know? The ones who we thought were going to sweep the season last year?”  
  
“Oh riiiiiiight,” Jinseo drawls as Soojung groans into her hands. “But at least there’s not too much prettiness to distract the judges?”  
  
They all have a laugh at that. Although they’re happy for reigning World Champions Gabriella Papadakis and Guillaume Cizeron of France, it was an inside joke among them that the couple won because the judges were blinded by their beauty more than their skills.  
  
“How’s your head, by the way?” Junehyoung asks, despite Jinseo’s wide eyes and throat-cutting gestures and Yixing’s groans. Junehyoung always has the worst timing with his questions. “Hojung and Kangin told us what happened… and well…”  
  
“I was off the ice for a month, and when I got back on the rink, we had to take it slow,” Soojung sighs while poking her food with her fork. “But I’m alright. I’m actually more worried about the time we lost for training than anything else.”  
  
Yixing chuckles as he puts down his form and puts his hand on Soojung’s free hand. “Let’s not dwell on that. After your safety is what’s important,” he says. “We’ve prepared as much as we could. If we do well, then, yay for us. If not, we have enough time to fix things before NHK.”  
  
“I guess you’re right,” Soojung sighs as Yixing pokes at her cheek.  
  
The short dance goes through without much problems. They perform their routine without much problems, getting a score of 58.50 (a new personal best), putting them in fourth overall. It’s not a bad way to start their season, but it’s either they try to rank higher at the free dance or they maintain their current placing. On the morning of the free dance, Yixing barely registers what’s going on as the makeup artists and hairstylists try to make him look presentable. Before he knows it, they’re in the shuttle that will take them to the rink. Maia Shibutani and Alex Shibutani of USA have their cameras out and are making everyone do silly things to help release tension. Yixing and Alex engage in a lip-sync battle with some of the men, while Soojung and Maia laugh with everyone else at Andrew Poje’s rendition of “Thinking Out Loud” (which Maia is recording on camera).  
  
It’s almost as if there’s a dark cloud suddenly comes hanging above their heads once the bus arrives at the rink. Save for a few whispers of “Good luck,” no one says a word as they disembark. “This is it,” Yixing whispers to himself as he instinctively reaches for Soojung’s clammy hand. Soojung nods at him. Yixing strokes the back of her hand with his thumb. It’s the only form of comfort he can offer her at the moment as his own stomach battles the butterflies.  
  
They’re skating first in the second group—meaning fifth out of the eight skaters competing. This isn’t a bad draw, and at least there’s a chance of higher PCS compared to skating in the first group. This also means that they have to up their games, as they will be competing against World medalists like the Shibutanis and Weaver/Poje. Soon, the last pair of the first group is on the ice; staff instruct skaters from the second group to leave the warm up room and to be on standby outside the rink.  
  
“Skaters in Group 2 may now take the ice for their warm up,” the announcer’s voice says after the last team’s score is announced.  
  
As their group enters the rink, Yixing tries not to let the screams of the crowd ruin his concentration. As they test their twizzles, Yixing mentally counts in his head, as he tends to be the one who messes them up. Just as they finish, Soojung mutters, “Shit.” Yixing blinks as his girlfriend hardly swears when they’re inside the rink. It can’t be his timing with their twizzles she’s swearing at; after all, they got out of them at the same time.  
  
“What’s wrong?” he whispers as their hands join again to do the waltz.  
  
Soojung blinks and leans closer to him. “I got kind of dizzy while doing the twizzles so I accidentally put my foot down early,” she whispers. Before Yixing can say anything else, Soojung adds, “I could barely eat this morning, that’s probably why I’m like this… Hope it doesn’t affect us during the actual competition.”  
  
“If you’re sure…” Yixing whispers, completely unconvinced. Soojung is a fighter, and whatever he intends to say about taking it easy for the warm up will just be ignored. After all, this isn’t practice and there’s no doing it over if they make any mistakes.  
  
“The warmup is over. Skaters, please leave the ice,” the announcer says as they all skate out of the rink. Soojung blinks a little, looking a bit winded from the warm up. Yixing bites the inside of his cheek, since asking Soojung if she’s sure she can skate is just a fight waiting to happen. He shakes his arms and legs to rid himself of the last few nerves in him, as well as to help him focus on the short dance. He watches Soojung blink a few times before stretching her arms. The look in her eyes is different—the fatigue from the warm up is gone and all Yixing sees is the competitive fire Soojung has.  
  
“Next to skate, representing Korea, Soojung Jung and Yixing Zhang!”  
  
“Let’s do this,” he whispers, taking Soojung’s hand as they skate to the middle of the rink.  
  
The moment “My Heart Will Go On” starts to play, Yixing swallows the last of his worries and transforms into Jack Dawson. His mind only has three things in them: his character, the routine, and not to drop Soojung. The twizzles Soojung had problems with earlier are done effortlessly this time, and Yixing likes to think their edges are deeper than they were last season. He also doesn’t drop Soojung in any of the lifts. As he puts Soojung in a final lift, he squeezes her hands before he lets go. The only thing that assures him she hasn’t fallen off is the fact she’s still sitting on his shoulder.  
  
He mentally pumps his fist in the air as he puts her down and they do their final poses just in time when the music stops. The screams and applause of the crowd call Yixing back to earth. He skates over to Soojung who stands up so they can bow to the crowd. They’re not going to win the competition, but this performance just might be the confidence boost they need to start their season.  
  
“We... did it,” Soojung whispers, clearly out of breath, as Yixing takes her in his arms.  
  
“Yes, I still can’t believe it,” Yixing whispers back, having difficulty restoring his breathing back to normal also. His knees are going to give way soon if he doesn’t sit down, and Soojung probably has it worse.  
  
“Are you feeling better though?” he adds as they exit the rink after accepting plushie toys from the rink girls, who picked up everything thrown on the rink.  
  
Soojung lets out a few deep breaths as they put on their skate guards and take in their coaches’ congratulations and comments. “I... guess... so…” she says between breaths. “Just… a bit exhausted. I could use a nap and food. Lots of food.”  
  
Yixing lets out a sigh of relief at those words as they head into the Kiss and Cry. It’s a normal thing Soojung says after every skate. Their jaws drop as they hear their score for the free dance—87.91—which is at least five points higher than their current personal best score.They get a total score of 146.41, into first place.  
  
“This is crazy…” Yixing mutters, staring at the scoreboard. He barely registers anything else, that it takes Coach Lowe and Soojung to pull him out of the Kiss and Cry.  
  
They end up in fourth place overall, as both Ksenia Monko and Kirill Khaliavin of Russia and the Shibutani siblings take their lead before Kaitlyn Weaver and Andrew Poje win the competition.

  
  
  
  
  
Despite the fourth-place finish at Skate Canada, they have spent the rest of the month preparing for NHK Trophy, their last major international competition for the first half of the season. It’s not like they’d qualify for the Grand Prix Final, but they’d like to keep their momentum going into the National Championships early next year.  
  
They’re first to skate in the short dance this time. It’s not the draw they would have wanted—who wants to be the first to skate anyway—but at least they can relax for the rest of the competition. This also means having to perform better than they did at Skate Canada since they’re likely to receive lower PCS this time. Yixing and Soojung exchange fist bumps before doing their opening poses. Tchaikovsky’s  _Swan Lake_  plays and they manage to execute their opening spins perfectly. Their ice dance steps are in-sync with each other, and somehow Yixing smiles as he and Soojung catch each other’s eyes. Right now, they aren’t the lovers pursuing a dream, but they are the doomed lovers Odette and Prince Siegfried. Yixing barely hears the audience cheer as they perform their twizzles, mentally counting the rotations and making sure they stop at the same time. A beat too early or too late, and it’s over. He likes to think the level of difficulty in their lifts has increased since last season. For Soojung to allow him to lift her in life-threatening ways and not complain goes to show how much faith she has in his promise that he’ll never let her go.

By the time the music stops, they realize that all their elements have been perfect. Yixing lets out the breath he doesn’t realize he has been holding as he falls to his knees. He looks over to Soojung who smiles despite holding her head in her right hand. Yixing musters all the strength he has to pick himself off the ground and skate over to her. He takes her left hand as they bow to the audience as the announcer calls their names. Soojung’s smile drops the minute they step out of the rink. Yixing barely registers Coach Lowe’s praise and Coach Im’s laughter as Soojung whispers in Korean, “Woah...”  
  
This catches the coaches’ attention as they all stop laughing at once. “Are you OK? You look a little out of it,” Coach Im whispers in Korean as they walk over to the Kiss and Cry. Yixing blinks, obviously the coaching team doesn’t want anyone else to know what’s happening yet.  
  
“I’m fine, Coach,” Soojung answers, as they sit at the Kiss and Cry area. “Just a little tired…” A camera catches Yixing’s attention, so he nudges Soojung. They put on sweet smiles for the camera and indulge the cameramen by greeting family, friends, and teammates in Korea and China and their training mates in Canada.  
  
Yixing and Soojung gasp as their score is announced—61.70—putting them into first place. Yixing barely tunes in to the rest of the competition until there is only one team left to skate after after Japan’s Kana Muramoto and Chris Reed end up in eighth place. Yixing and Soojung are still in second place behind the Shibutanis. According to Soojung, Canada’s Mitchell Islam accidentally dropped Alexandra Paul earlier, while Russia’s Ekaterina Bobrova tripped Dmitri Soloviev twice.  
  
“We could actually be in podium contention,” Soojung whispers, as they watch the last team, USA’s Madison Hubbell and Zachary Donohue take the ice. Yixing turns to Soojung, whose grip on his is usually tight. Soojung is hardly this clingy, not even when they placed tenth at Worlds earlier this year. Soojung’s palms are unusually sweaty against his hands and she’s shivering, despite the thick Team Korea jackets they’re wearing.  
  
“Body heat,” he whispers are he wraps an arm across her shoulders. Soojung doesn’t protest as she leans her head on his shoulder. Yixing blinks as he doesn’t hear a sound from Soojung after that. She’s not making as many comments as she was during the earlier performances. He looks at Soojung’s face and her eyes are slightly out of focus as Madison and Zachary get off the ice after a clean skate.  
  
“That’s going to put them at least second,” he whispers to Soojung who barely stirs.  
  
“At least we’re in a good spot after the short dance,” Soojung whispers as Madison and Zachary head to the Kiss and Cry area. “Now we’ll just have to go all out in the free dance and be perfect, then we’ve got this.”  
  
True enough, USA’s Madison Hubbell and Zachary Donohue end up in second place; thus Soojung and Yixing are in third place after the short dance. They find themselves whisked over to a small conference room near the rink for a quick press conference. The last time Yixing and Soojung had ever experienced this was at Korean Nationals. This is possibly the highest they’ve finished in the short dance segment in international competitions.  
  
“Given your strong performances at Skate Canada and the short dance earlier, do you think you will make it to the podium here at NHK Trophy?”  
  
Yixing and Soojung exchange glances, asking which of them will answer the question. Yixing nods at Soojung who takes the microphone.  
  
“We’d love to medal at any competition we’re in, but we are also competing against some of the best in the world,” Soojung says before pausing. “We… We’ll do our best to deliver a podium-worthy free dance.”  
  
Yixing tunes out the rest of the press conference, as most of the questions are directed to the Shibutanis who are the leaders after the short dance. He can practically hear his stomach grumbling by the time the press conference is over. Soojung, Madison, and Maia sigh as Alex mentions wanting to go out for tonkatsu after the free dance competition tomorrow. Yixing and Zachary exchange smiles; apparently, he’s not the only one who’s hungry.  
  
After posing for a few photos, finally, the press conference is over and they can all finally leave. Soojung is nearest the door, so she makes her way to the door first. Just as she takes a step forward, she lets out a slight scream lands face first to the ground before Yixing can catch up. “Are you OK?” he whispers as he pulls her up. “Careful, we can’t have anything happening before the free dance.” Yixing looks back at the table they were sitting at earlier. There was a tiny step that separated the elevated area where their table was from the rest of the floor, Yixing shakes his head with a smile.  
  
Soojung nods as she stands up and brushes whatever dust got caught on her jacket. Yixing instinctively wraps an arm around her as everyone else crowds around them.  
  
“Are you sure?” Maia asks, her eyebrows meeting at the center of her forehead. “That was a pretty loud scream earlier.”  
  
“I’m fine. I’m still seeing some flashing lights,” she says chuckling. “I guess I’ve been on the ice too long that I’ve forgotten how to walk on solid ground.”  
  
Yixing and Soojung are the next-to-last to skate at the free dance the following day. However, times flies fast as suddenly, they are already being instructed to enter the rink for the warm-up. As Yixing takes Soojung’s hands, they burn against his skin.  
  
“Soojung,” he whispers as they practice their waltz steps. “You’re burning.”  
  
Soojung’s glassy eyes look up at him. “What?”  
  
“You’re warm… too warm… You’re not sick, are you?”  
  
“No, I’m fine,” Soojung hisses as she misses a step in their step sequence. “I just… couldn’t sleep last night.”  
  
“If you’re sure...” Yixing mutters as they position themselves for a spin. Soojung’s eyes aren’t focused like they usually are, and she’s also blinking a lot and squinting at the lights above them. As they perform an upright dance spin, Soojung barely manages to stay in position before suddenly going limp in Yixing arms. She doesn’t respond when he whispers her name. He barely remembers what happens as he shouts for help. He’s surrounded by people—his coaches, medics, other skaters, and the press—as he’s lead out of the rink. It’s a flurry of movement as the medics put Soojung on a stretcher and take her to the warm-up room.  
  
Yixing has lost all track of time as he stares at Soojung, who has yet to regain consciousness. He barely understands what the medic says. All he gets is that Soojung’s fatigue probably resulted in the high fever, and her being anemic aggravated the situation, making her faint. At this point, Yixing doesn’t really care about the competition anymore. All he wants is to go home, so Soojung can rest. This is only one competition, and a medal isn’t worth risking his girlfriend’s life. But then, Soojung would probably kill him if he makes a decision without her. Yixing rubs his head as he watches his coaches talking among themselves.  
  
Yixing blinks as Soojung tugs at his hand. He watches with bated breath as she opens her eyes, muttering, “Why is it so bright in here?”  
  
“Good to see you’re awake,” Coach Im says as he rushes over to Soojung. “Why didn’t you tell us you have a fever?”  
  
“I… do?” Soojung mutters, looking at Yixing for help.  
  
“Apparently, you have a high fever… why didn’t you tell us you weren’t feeling well?” Coach Wing adds.  
  
Yixing watches Soojung take in her surroundings for the first time. “What am I doing here?” she asks, looking at all three coaches and Changmin.  
  
“You fainted during the warm-up,” Yixing answers. “Were you already feeling sick during the short dance yesterday?”  
  
“Yes,” Soojung sighs as she takes in their worried and angry faces. “It was some time around after our short dance, and I… I didn’t want to make anyone worry since I thought I was just tired. But… I’m fine now. See, I can stand—”  
  
Just as Soojung tries to get off the stretcher, Yixing rushes to catch her as her knees give way. “Ok, maybe not but I guess I can—”  
  
Soojung crawls out of Yixing’s grip as she throws up at the nearest trash can. Yixing tears his eyes away as he rushes out the room to call the medics. He ignores the other skaters asking how Soojung’s doing as he runs back to the warm-up room.  
  
Soojung’s screaming and crying as Coach Im informs them that they’re withdrawing from the competition. “I, no we, have to go out there, Coach Im!” Soojung says trying to make her shaky voice sound confident. She retches into the trash can next to her before continuing. “It’s not too late for us to back out yet! Besides, I’m not injured!”  
  
“You’re not injured, but you have a high fever and nausea. We can’t risk it,” Coach Im says. “What if you pass out while competing? You don’t want that to happen, do you?”  
  
If Yixing could have his way, they would be on the soonest flight to Seoul or Vancouver. He looks at Soojung, who stares right back at him. They understand each other, and to Yixing, Soojung’s well-being is his top priority, even if it means losing a medal.  
  
“Fine,” Soojung mutters as she retches into the trash can some more. “I’m only agreeing because I know I’m on the losing side of the battle.”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
To Yixing’s surprise, no reporters hound them about Soojung’s accident, save for asking if she has recovered from her fever. Changmin mutters something about KSU President Jung Yunho ordering a media blackout about the incident. But then, he’s certain that fans have seen the incident—whether in the flesh or through telecast—and have posted about it on social media. Both his and Soojung’s social media accounts are bombarded by concerned messages from fellow skaters.  
  
They immediately rush Soojung to the hospital where she can get checked by the doctor who treated her head months ago. Yixing paces back and forth outside the doctor’s office as he wanted to speak with Soojung alone. It’s only a fever, right? Why do they need to do scans to her head? It’s not like she hit her head on the rink like she did a few months ago. She’s been fine ever since she got back to the ice until the free dance.  
  
As the doctor walks out with a tearful Soojung, Yixing instinctively wraps Soojung in an embrace. He barely hears the words “post-concussion syndrome”, “sit out the rest of the season”, “or even retire if it gets worse” as Soojung’s sobs outweigh anything else in the room. Somehow, a part of Yixing’s heart shatters—because of the possibility that Soojung is in pain more than the possible end of his Olympic dream.  
  
He ends up being the one to actually post the message Soojung has written in three different languages—English, Korean, and Mandarin—to all her social media accounts and his own.  


  
  
  
  
  


  
_“As many of you may have heard, I had a concussion (traumatic brain injury) from an accident that happened in training during the off-season. I have been experiencing balance and focus issues since then, along with fatigue, which are apparently symptoms of post-concussion syndrome. Now my fever has subsided, my body is perfectly fine. The doctors are of course very optimistic about my situation, as nothing life-threatening has been seen on the X-rays and my symptoms slowly wear off. But the brain is a mysterious organ that needs time to fully recover, and I can’t be sure when that happens. As such, I was instructed to stay off the ice for a while and rest to avoid complications of any symptoms.  
  
Thanks for all your messages and I can’t wait to get back on the ice.  
Soojung”_  
---  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
They opt to fly back to Korea where Soojung can rest at her parents’ house, while Yixing trains at Taereung with the rest of the national team. As what they did when Soojung first hit her head, Yixing still goes to the rink to train every day. When training ends, he visits Soojung, who complains about being so bored at home since her parents are out and all she does is catch up on the school work she’s missed. “I need to get back on the ice soon,” she tells him daily. Yixing has no idea what to say at times like this. He wants her back on the rink with him more than anything else, but her full recovery is more important to him.  
  
As he is about to tie his skates at the rink side, he sees a figure with long hair already sitting there. She isn’t supposed to be here. She’s supposed to be at home, resting. He doesn’t recall the doctors saying that she can go back to the ice.  
  
“What are you doing here?” He winces at the sound of his own voice; it’s sharper than he intended for it to sound.  
  
“I couldn’t stand not being on the ice anymore, Yixing,” Soojung says, her voice sounding desperate.  
  
“But the doctors have to check up on you,” he says, trying to sound as patient as possible without coming across as patronizing. The last thing he wants is for Soojung to think he treats her like a child.  
  
“I’m fine, Yixing,” she says as she stops over to the rink. She removes her skate guards before she steps on the ice. “Wheee,” she squeals as she skates for the first time in several weeks. Yixing would chuckle at the sight if fear isn’t creeping into every bone in his body.  
  
“Damn it,” Yixing curses as he ties his skates as fast as he can. He needs to get Soojung off the rink before any of their coaches see her there. She’s going to be in big trouble with them and he’d rather spare her from that.  
  
“Hey!” he shouts as he skates into the rink with her. “Get off before someone catches you in here and throws you out!”  
  
Soojung stops and her gaze goes cold. “ _Before someone catches me in here and throws me out?_  Yixing, I may be injured but I have as much right as you do to be in this rink. Are you just so guilty about what happened that’s why you don’t want me in the rink?”  
  
“It’s not that… but you have to rest…” His words are beginning to sound repetitive.  
  
“Besides, if I don’t start training now, when? Nationals are coming up soon and if I don’t get back in shape on time, we might lose our chance to go to Worlds.”  
  
Yixing sighs as he opens his mouth to reply, but Soojung puts a hand up before he can say anything.  
  
“Besides, head injuries and its side effects always happen. It’s part of being an athlete, in case you forgot. It was a simple technical mistake. None of us wanted it to happen,” she snaps at him.”  
  
His hands are shaking and all he sees is red. Soojung is being stubborn. All he wants is for her to recover yet she’s doing things against the doctors’ orders. “A mistake that almost cost us YOUR LIFE!” Yixing shouts before he can stop himself.  
  
“Exactly, it’s MY LIFE! I’d rather DIE knowing that I tried rather than living and asking what if,” Soojung screams.  
  
“I’m sorry that I’d rather lose my Olympic dream than lose you, Soojung!”  
  
Yixing barely realizes what he said as Soojung skates out the rink, takes off her skates, and storms out the rink. Yixing instinctively skates to catch up, but she’s already walked out the door before he can even put on his skate guards. He sighs as he sits on one of the benches, their argument ringing in his head.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It’s been two weeks since their last fight, yet Yixing doesn’t hear from Soojung. She hasn’t been replying to his calls and messages. No one among their coaches have heard from her either. Yixing sighs as he puts his head in his hands. This is the longest time they’ve gone without speaking to each other. Has he gone too far with what he said?  
  
He’s having dinner with the rest of Team Korea after a long day of training. He has told Jinseo everything that has happened. Once Jinseo knows, the rest of the team isn’t far behind.  
  
“Soojung… please pick up,” he whispers as his message goes straight to voicemail.  
  
“Have you tried visiting her at home?” Soyoun asks as Yixing puts the phone down.  
  
“He already has, and her father chased him out,” Jinseo snorts from beside Junehyoung. “It was quite a sight to see Yixing shaking like a leaf in front of Soojung’s father!”  
  
Yixing rolls his eyes. “No, I was not chased out of the house,” he grunts at Jinseo. “And I was not shaking like a leaf. Stop making up stuff.”  
  
“I don’t know what happened, but she’s been ignoring everyone lately,” Hojung says, nodding. “We go to the same school and she’s acts as if she doesn’t see me.”  
  
“True,” Haejin chimes in while Rebeka and Soyoun nod. “She hasn’t been replying to our messages on KakaoTalk either.”  
  
“Really?” Yixing frowns at Haejin’s words. Soojung has always been friendly with the ladies of Team Korea. Now, he isn’t certain whether he is relieved that he isn’t the only one being ignored or aggravated since he has no idea what his girlfriend is thinking or doing.  
  
Rebeka nods. “Whatever it is you said must have really gotten to her,” she says with a sigh.  
  
Yixing sighs as he accepts the glass of water Kirill offers him. Not that drinking the water helped calm his nerves.  
  
“I will shoot myself for this later, but what you two have is too strong and too worth it to be ruined by something like this,” Jinseo says, patting Yixing’s back. “ You two love each other too much just to give up like that... She’ll come around eventually.”  
  
“Now, what do I do?” he asks, feeling completely helpless.  
  
Soyoun purses her lips before answering, “Give her some time to think,” she says.  
  
It’s easier said than done, as Yixing finds himself sitting outside Soojung’s house a few days after the dinner with the rest of Team Korea. It’s not like he can get any sleep, so he might as well try his luck in getting Soojung to speak to him again.  
  
His heart pounds as he rings the doorbell. What if she’s not home? What if her father decides to ban him from the premises? He sighs as he listens to the footsteps approach the door.  
  
The door opens and Yixing can’t help the gasp he lets out. Soojung is standing on the other side of the door, with her hair disheveled and her eyes are red. She’s wearing her pajamas and she’s holding onto a pillow.  
  
“What are you doing here?” Soojung asks, her eyes widening once she sees who it is.  
  
“I wanted to see you, Soojung,” Yixing answers as Soojung sighs and lets him in.  
  
Soojung bites her lip and sighs. “Fine, have a seat,” she says, pointing to the couch. “I’ll get you something to drink.”  
  
Once Soojung returns with a pitcher of juice and glasses, Yixing says, “I missed you. What happened?”  
  
“Yixing… I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have said any of those things to you,” Soojung says. “I… I was upset.”  
  
Yixing nods. “I may have gone too far with what I said,” he says. “But I just wanted to keep you safe.”  
  
Soojung sighs. “I know that, that’s why I realized I was being unfair to you.”  
  
“But why weren’t you talking to any of us?” he asks, holding Soojung’s hand. “I wasn’t the only one worried about you, you know.”  
  
Soojung slouches against the couch and sighs. “I decided to follow what the doctor ordered and stayed away from everything that had to do with training,” she explains. “And I decided to use this time to really think about things… and I knew I couldn’t make a good decision if I saw anything that had to do with the team… or even you…”  
  
“But—” Yixing says as Soojung lifts up a hand. Yixing can only sigh and stare straight into Soojung’s empty-looking eyes. The hollowness sends shivers up Yixing’s spine, and he isn’t sure he likes what Soojung is about to say.  
  
“The doctors say I will recover soon, but it’s taking slower than usual... “ Soojung’s voice begins to get softer. “I’m just scared of everything. What if I never recover? What if the incident in Japan happens again? Or something even worse?”  
  
This is the first time they’ve ever talked about this in detail ever since that night in the hospital. Soojung is more affected about this than Yixing has imagined. All he wants is for Soojung to be happy and fully recovered.  
  
“Soojung, no one can tell what will happen in the future,” he whispers, hoping his words can get through to her. “But I have faith that you will recover from this.”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Soojung returns to training two days after their conversation, the doctors having cleared her to resume training. It’s not as intense as it used to be, since Soojung is still recuperating. They also skate earlier than usual to avoid crowds and loud noises, especially after Soojung nearly snapped at the other novices under Coach Shin for being too loud. They manage to win Korean Nationals and are chosen to represent the country at the Four Continents Championships in Taiwan and the World Championships in Boston. At Four Continents, they finish in fourth place, suddenly making them a team to watch out for at the World Championships.  
  
Before they know it, they are getting ready to skate at the gala of the World Championships in Boston. An eighth-place finish at the competition isn’t a bad way to end their season, especially with new personal best scores. Yixing sighs as he watches Soojung laughing with Soyoun, the bronze medalist for ladies singles. It’s been so long since he’s seen her smiling and joking around with others. Soojung catches his gaze, and Yixing’s heart skips a beat when she smiles at him.  
  
The program they’re skating to isn’t the one they’ve done at the other galas they’ve been invited to this season. It’s not a popular song choice for a gala, and not everyone will be able to understand, but he can’t help but smile as the opening notes begin to play.  
  
_Your soft skin that shyly trembles  
Your hair that is tangled with sweat_  


  
  
  
  
  


  
The day he first met Soojung is possibly both the best and worst day of his life. After Coach Im introduces Soojung to him, he bows before he looks up to see a hand being offered to him. Frowning, he takes and shakes her hand, which is soft against his own sweaty ones. He mentally cringes as she raises an eyebrow at him.  
  
“Jung Soojung,” she says, her face still impassive.  
  
“Zhang Yixing,” he replies. He looks at Coach Im for help, who simply laughs.  
  
The words he wants to say die on his lips as the girl, Soojung, sits on the bleachers without looking at anyone. Yixing has always known he’s on the weird side of the spectrum, but he’s never considered himself to be socially challenged until today. It’s not like he has a crush on her, after all, they’ve just met. He isn’t going to deny that despite her messy ponytail and sweaty forehead, Soojung is beautiful. Anyone with eyes can see that. Yixing has never had problems dealing with people, but this girl he just met is making him forget what he wants to say. What makes it worse is that her serial killer stare makes it difficult for him to figure out what she’s thinking, without assuming that she wants him dead, or at least, out of her sight.  
  
“I hope we can work well together,” he whispers, as Soojung stares at him from where she’s sitting.  
---  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_It seems like you’re shy but you’re not shaking  
Your eyes that look at me, your confidence_  


  
  
  
  
  


  
Yixing and Soojung blink at each other as Coach Lowe pushes them into the rink. Soojung’s serial killer stare disappears in favor of a confused look that matches Yixing’s own.  
  
“Crossovers,” Coach Lowe instructs.  
  
Yixing and Soojung shrug at each other and do as they’re told. It’s only been five minutes, yet unlike Yixing’s previous partner tryouts, he and Soojung are in sync as they move. For the first time that day, she smiles at him. If he’ll be honest with himself, Soojung is a thousand times prettier when she smiles, that he finds himself smiling back at her.  
  
“Let’s see twizzles,” Coach Lowe instructs from outside the rink.  
  
They do as instructed, and Yixing almost expects to hear Coach Im’s dismay. He has flown all the way from China for a tryout and he knows he should be shaking in his boots. What if this doesn’t work out? What if he’s just wasting his time? Will he be put back in the Chinese Skating Association’s dungeons? He musters the courage to look her way, only to see her smiling serenely at him.  
  
Skating with Soojung is almost so easy, despite having just met her today. There’s a natural grace to her skating that he didn’t see in any of his previous partners. Which of them is the real Soojung? The girl with the killer stare who greeted him earlier, or the delicate creature skating with him on the rink?  
  
“Try a lift,” Coach Wing instructs.  
  
It’s almost unnerving for Yixing at how Soojung simply doesn’t bat an eyelash as they make eye contact. Her eyes don’t have the fear he’s seen from other partners trying out as he throws her body across his shoulders. Soojung simply changes positions as he spins, making him adjust accordingly in order not to drop her as she goes down from the lift.  
  
“Ok. Stop!” Coach Wing shouts from outside the rink. “We’ve seen everything we need to see.”  
  
“Well?” Yixing and Soojung chorus. They look at each other and laugh.  
  
“What do you think, Soojung?”  
  
“I… I think we can work together,” Soojung says. There’s still a wall between them, Yixing can feel that, but he hears none of the usual doubt that was laced in the voices of his partners during previous tryouts. Either Soojung is desperate for a partner or she means what she says. “I had fun skating with him, though we barely spoke with each other.” Yixing smiles as he watches Soojung shrug. Maybe this can work out after all.  
  
“You, Yixing?”  
  
“She wasn’t scared of me, although we didn’t meet before,” Yixing admits. “I think that’s a lot better than some of my previous try outs. We don’t know each other, but I felt like she trusted me enough not to be an idiot?”  
  
“Let’s see how this works out.” Coach Im says as they move to the benches.  
  
He catches Soojung’s gaze again. The murderous gaze is gone, but there’s something else. It’s the same look in her eyes when she was about to go up for a lift. She trusted him enough not to drop her although they’re strangers. Thinking back, he also trusted her not to let him go or to leave him behind.  
  
Maybe, this can actually work.  
---  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_It looks perfect_  


  
  
  
  
  


Despite an almost chaotic international debut season, Yixing still can’t believe he and Soojung are actually representing Korea at the World Junior Championships. They are in twentieth place, coming into the free dance, but Yixing can hardly bring himself to care. At least they actually qualified. He lets out a breath and pinches his hands as the announcer calls his and Soojung’s names.  
  
“Ouch!” Soojung hisses as they skate to the center of the rink. “That was my hand!”  
  
“Sorry,” Yixing says, smiling at her, knowing that she can’t smack his arm now they’re about to skate. “You can hit me later.”  
  
“You bet I will,” Soojung says as they go into their opening pose as they wait for their music to play. Yixing blinks as  _Phantom of the Opera_  plays. “This isn’t our music,” he hisses to Soojung who frowns back at him.  
  
They exchange glances before they skate over to the technical controller, as they say it’s the wrong music. The man in the booth looks confused as he holds up an unfamiliar flash drive. “Don’t these people read?” Soojung mutters in his ear as Yixing points to the blue one he and Soojung gave the night before. “That’s the one,” he says before he and Soojung skate back to the middle of the rink.  
  
Finally,  _The Nutcracker_  plays and their performance is as clean as it can get. It’s not as good as they would have liked it to be, as that technical problem from earlier affected their skate, whether they will admit it or not. More experienced skaters have been thrown off by that, but what more two junior-level rookies?  
  
Regardless, it’s a relaxed mood at the Kiss and Cry, at least none of them fell or messed up ay of their elements. It’s a better World Junior Championships debut than they expected. Not bad for a team who’s only been together for several months.  
  
They end up with a total score of 101.94 into fourth place. As they exchange hugs and high-fives with their coaches, Yixing can’t help but notice a slight jolt of electricity that passes through his fingers. As he reaches out to Soojung for another embrace, he feels something soft on the corner of his lips. Soojung stares at him with wide eyes before taking a step back.  
  
“Uh.. yeah…” Soojung mutters, blushing a little bit. “We… we make a good team.”  
  
As Yixing touches that spot where Soojung’s lips were later that evening, that’s when he realizes what that feeling at the Kiss and Cry was.  
  
Sparks.  
---  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_Keep whispering love.  
Keep whispering_  


  
  
  
  
  


Yixing heart pounds as Soojung walks into the rink. It’s her first day back in training after the doctors say she’s rested enough. Their practice starts earlier than before, as Soojung is sensitive to loud noises. They also have to end practice early, because she still needs to rest despite her recovery.  
  
“Are you sure about this, Soojung?” Yixing asks as they warm up in the rink.  
  
“Yes, I am,” she replies as she skates in circles around him. “We lost at least two weeks of training before Nationals. We need to catch up!”  
  
No matter how many times Soojung says the injury isn’t his fault, there’s always going to be a small part of himself that wonders what he could have done to avoid it. His hands shake as he and Soojung prepare for a lift.  
  
Yixing sighs as his hands almost slip from Soojung’s leg as he prepares for a rotational lift.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Soojung asks as the music stops.  
  
“I’m… just... “ Yixing mutters. “I’m just terrified.”  
  
“Of what?”  
  
“I might drop you again, or do something even worse,” he sighs.  
  
The look on Soojung’s face changes from exhausted to grim. “We’ve practiced several times after the accident, and I’ve been fine… Aside from what’s happened of course.”  
  
“But… what if I get careless again?” he sighs. He shouldn’t be thinking this way, especially since Soojung has put so much faith in him. “I know you have faith in me, but I’m just afraid I’ll let you down again.”  
  
“Yixing, listen to me,” Soojung says, looking straight into his eyes. “You once told me that we can’t tell what’s going to happen in the future. But I also know that you will never do anything to intentionally hurt me.”  
  
Yixing sighs. “That’s the point. I don’t want to hurt you, even accidentally!”  
  
Soojung says, “I believe in you, and I trust that you will look out for me. We’re a team here. You’ve looked out for me all this time. Now it’s my turn to look out for you.”  
  
Yixing nods as he stares blankly at the rink. Soojung is here, skating in front of him, yet part of his mind refuses to believe it. Yixing lets out a breath he doesn’t realize he has been holding.  
---  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_Your song that you whisper to me quietly  
Your scent that is more alluring than anything else in the world_  


  
  
  
  
  


Yixing almost finds it amusing that this is his and Soojung’s first National title, despite all that they have been through this season. They’re standing in the middle of the rink with Rebeka and Kirill, as they have just been announced as the ice dance teams representing Korea at the World Championships in Boston  
  
“My head’s aching,” Yixing hears her groan as the cameras flash at them. Soojung’s grip on his hand tightens, almost as if it’s the only thing that’s keeping her from sitting down in the middle of the rink.  
  
“Since when?” Yixing whispers once Soyoun and Haejin skate to the center of the rink as the Ladies going to Worlds. Soojung lets go of his hand to embrace the ladies who have just joined them at the rink. Once that’s done, Yixing instinctively wraps an arm around Soojung. “Just now, really,” Soojung mutters. “Just when they decided to shine the spotlight right in our faces.”  
  
Jinseo and Junehyoung finally join the rest of them at the rink, and the entire Team Korea obliges the press with photos. Just as they’re making a few funny faces—with everyone planning to put horns behind newly-appointed World Team Trophy team captain Jinseo—Soojung’s grip on Yixing’s arm suddenly goes lax and her knees buckle as they move.  
  
“Help,” Soojung mutters as Yixing catches her before she hits the ice.  
  
To Yixing’s surprise, there’s no mention of the incident in any of the official new sites, but he’s certain that it’s all over social media. No one else talks to them about the incident, but Yixing knows he isn’t the only one glancing at Soojung every five seconds just to make sure she’s still standing.  
  
“We need to talk,” Soojung says as he walks her home from their Team Korea dinner.  
  
“That sounds like the start of a break up scene... “ Yixing jokes, but the minute he sees that Soojung isn’t in the mood for it, he sighs. “I’m sorry. That was a bad joke… Continue?”  
  
Soojung looks at him straight in the eye and let’s out a breath before saying, “I need you to do something for me...”  
  
“Anything, Soojung,” Yixing says almost at once.  
  
“Let’s skate together at Worlds, for one last time.”  
  
Yixing’s mind stops in its tracks at Soojung’s words. He gapes at her as he repeats the only word that rings in his head. “Last?”  
  
Soojung nods as she stares at Yixing. “I want to retire,” she says.  
  
“Why now?” Yixing asks. “You’re on the way to recovery, aren’t you?”  
  
“You know about the weird headaches and dizziness. You remember how I was complaining about the spotlight in my eyes before I passed out... And then, there’s the insomnia. I… I feel like I’m getting worse instead of better.”  
  
“But Soojung—” Yixing protests, but Soojung is clearly not done yet.  
  
“You can’t just lose your dream because of me, “ Soojung says, trying to keep her voice steady. “You deserve better than this. You should be going out there, showing that Team Korea is a force to look out for by the Olympics! But I’m still your girlfriend, of course~”  
  
“Why don’t I have a say in this?” Yixing asks, trying not to get angry. How can Soojung joke about things like that? She has a point, but it doesn’t mean he likes it. “We’re partners. We’re supposed to make this decision TOGETHER!”  
  
Instead of flaring up like she did the last time Yixing got angry, Soojung sighs. “You think it was an easy decision for me to make?” she asks, looking straight at him.  
  
Yixing says nothing as he looks at Soojung’s face. It couldn’t have been an easy decision. All season long, Soojung has pushed herself to compete despite this head injury. He can’t imagine life without her on the ice with him. But he knows he has to keep Soojung alive before anything else.  
  
“Are you sure about this, Soojung?” Yixing finally speaks, looking straight into her eyes.  
---  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_It makes me want to forget yesterday, today and tomorrow  
Makes me want to forget_  


  
  
  
  
  


  
"It's a fact that I suffered a concussion earlier this season," Soojung says in English during a press conference after the World Championships before the gala performances. "Although the doctors say I’ve recovered, there are instances where the symptoms of a post-concussion syndrome come back—sometimes, worse than they were before."  
  
Soojung reaches for Yixing’s hand as the cameras flash in their direction. She’s squinting her eyes again. Yixing hands hands her the water bottle in front of them. “Thanks,” Soojung whispers as she accepts the bottle. Yixing can tell Soojung is doing all she can just to not put the bottle on top of her eyes.  
  
“Despite our results in competitions, this season has been a very difficult one,” Soojung continues. “I’ve been in and out of the hospital just to make sure my concussion wasn’t aggravated by the intense training we do. Unfortunately, I’ve been getting tired too easily, so training has to be cut shorter than usual. We’ve lost too much time to train because of this. I figured it’s unfair to Yixing, since I’m the only one who’s injured and he has to deal with these setbacks.”  
  
“What happens to you now, Mr. Zhang?” a reporter asks in English. “Will you still skate for Korea or are you considering skating for China?”  
  
Yixing smiles as he leans over to the microphone to answer. “I intend to represent Korea. I found my first partner there, so I might be lucky again,” he says in English before he looks at Changmin, indicating he wants to continue in Chinese. Changmin steps up by their side before he continues.  
  
“After all, I promised Soojung that I’ll keep on skating for both of us. I want to make it to Pyeongchang, not just to fulfill my childhood dream, but because now, I have someone to do this for besides myself. Even if Soojung isn’t going to be skating with me anymore, every move I’ll make on the rink is dedicated to her.”  
---  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_It becomes perfect  
  
The softness of your finger touching my body  
The breaths that flow in between your lips_  
  
When Yixing comes to, he and Soojung have already struck their final pose. After an emotional and grueling skate, Yixing always feels like he wants to die and never get up. It is usually because of fatigue. This time, there’s a certain heaviness in his chest as the audience’s applause and screams ring in his ears. “It’s really over now,” he whispers to himself as Soojung skates toward him.  
  
Yixing holds her hand as they make their last bow as a pair. He feels the tears in his eyes starting to form as he presents Soojung to the audience for one last time. Even Soojung’s smile is different. It’s not the usual victorious, yet slightly tired smile he’s gotten used to seeing. The physical and metal exhaustion involved in what has happened this year has finally caught up to Soojung, and Yixing feels it seeping through his bones as he holds Soojung in his arms.  
  
“Thank you,” Soojung whispers as they skate out of the rink. “For agreeing to do this with me.”  
  
“I promised you,” Yixing whispers. “That I am willing to do anything for you.”  
  
_Your heart that is hidden under your breasts  
Your thin and beautiful line that curves like an arrow  
  
It looks perfect_  
  
Yixing takes Soojung’s hand as the newly minted men’s singles World Champion Denis Ten beckons everyone to come and join him in the rink for their final number. They laugh as they follow the Shibutani siblings to the middle of the rink. Yixing hoists Soojung on his shoulders as they join the other ice dancers in gliding across the ice. As he puts her down, he makes sure she’s busy laughing with Kanako and Zijun before he nods to World bronze medalist Soyoun. He watches as Soyoun whispers something to Denis, who smiles as he skates over to where Soojung is.  
  
As the crowd parts for Denis and Soojung, Yixing starts clapping and everyone follows suit. Despite the slight sting in his eyes, he smiles as Denis skates backward and claps at Soojung’s direction. As Soojung wipes her eyes and bows to the audience, Yixing finds himself wiping his own eyes too. He can’t believe this is the last time he’ll ever see Soojung inside a rink. He comes to his senses when Jinseo nudges him, holding out a bouquet of forget-me-nots and sweet peas. Yixing skates over to her, followed by everyone else, as he hands her the flowers. Soojung looks up at him, raising an eyebrow. Yixing shrugs before embracing her, and everyone else joins in to make it a tangled mess of arms and legs instead of a proper group hug.  
  
As they break apart, Yixing raises Soojung’s hand that’s not holding the flowers. It almost feels as if it’s Yixing’s heart being ripped in two as Alex and Guillaume lift Soojung in the air as a final goodbye. He almost laughs at Soojung’s shocked face when Jinseo starts chanting “Jung Soojung!” but he finds himself joining in, possibly chanting louder than anyone else.  
  
Once Soojung is let down, Yixing skates over to her and embraces her. “I’ll miss you, you know?” he whispers in her ear.  
  
Soojung swats him on the arm. “Don’t be dramatic. You’ll still see me around!”  
  
“It’s going to be different, though.”  
  
“It’ll be OK,” Soojung whispers. As Yixing tucks a strand of Soojung’s hair behind her ear, he swears he hears someone, most likely Jinseo, shouting “Kiss!”  
  
While Yixing would normally roll his eyes and ignore Jinseo, the look in Soojung’s eyes is a bit different from usual. “What are you thinking?” he asks, smiling at her.  
  
Soojung looks at him and chuckles. “It’s the last time we’ll ever get to do it like this?”  
  
“If you say so,” Yixing shrugs as he closes the gap between their faces, ignoring everything else around them.  
  
_Keep whispering love._  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The music stops and suddenly it’s over. Yixing’s eyes brim with tears as he tries to catch his breath. The rink is suddenly flooded with flowers and plushie toys. One of them almost hits him in the face as he skates to the middle of the rink. They’re in tenth place after the short dance, and there’s no way they’ll be able to get on the podium despite this performance, given who they’re up against. Then again, being in the upper half of the standings isn’t so bad for one of Korea’s first ice dance teams in the Olympics.  
  
“We did it, Soojung,” he whispers as they join hands and bow to the crowd.  
  
Coach Im held tryouts for ice dancers who could possibly become Yixing’s new partner. Lucky for them, they found skater Kang Seulgi, who was recovering from a knee injury and couldn’t perform jumps but had wonderful edges and skating skills. They teamed up on May 2016 and have had a successful debut as a team at Ice Challenge, where they placed fifth. They competed in several B-level competitions, and won at Korean Nationals. They also made it to the Four Continents and the World teams. At Worlds, they made it to fifth place, while Rebekah and Kirill ended up in tenth, giving them two spots at the Olympics. This season, Yixing and Seulgi competed at Skate America and Rostelecom Cup, where they placed fourth in both competitions. Then they won Korean Nationals and skipped the Four Continents Championships to focus on Olympic preparations.  
  
“I’m not Soojung, but whatever,” Seulgi snorts in between breaths. She hits Yixing on the arm as they accept the gifts from the rink girls. “I know what you meant. No matter what place we end up in, I’m sure Soojung’s proud of you.”  
  
After her retirement, Soojung took the college entrance exams and ended up majoring in Journalism at Sungkyunkwan University, while learning fashion design from her sister. (“Someone needs to educate these sports writers on figure skating!” Soojung explained her choice of major to an amused Yixing. “And I need to do my part in getting rid of boobskirts in the skating world.”) Although she promised not to be a stage girlfriend to Yixing in terms of his career, she always makes time to visit the rink whenever Yixing and Seulgi are in town. During Korean Nationals (or every major competition held in Seoul), Soojung comes bearing what is probably the most obnoxiously sized support banner for Yixing and Seulgi—using the derpiest photos she has of them. He also isn’t sure if he wants to shrivel up and die or beam with pride whenever he sees her and her camera with the telescopic lenses at the stands. (“If I can’t skate with you, I might as well become Team Korea’s fansite noona!” she said the first time she did it.) Jealousy has never been an issue between them, as Seulgi and Soojung quickly became friends when Yixing introduced them. Besides, Seulgi’s boyfriend Jongin is a shy ballet dancer interning under Coach Im as a choreographer. The only downside to all this is that they have one common hobby—ganging up on Yixing and making his life hell.  
  
Yixing tries to catch his breath as he and Seulgi exit the ice, exchanging high-fives with Maia and Alex, who are set to skate after them. Coach Lowe hugs Yixing, while Coach Wing has Seulgi trapped in her arms. At the corner of his eye, Yixing catches Coach Im looking as if she’s trying not to cry, while Changmin is grinning from ear to ear. It’s a struggle to put on his skate guards while the cameras are flashing at them, but he manages to get it done.  
  
His breathing steadies by the time they sit at the Kiss and Cry area. He’s still trying to wrap his head around it all. Coach Im once told him that one in a hundred athletes get to compete in the Olympics. He’s finally fulfilled a life-long dream that’s taken him miles away from home. He fulfilled his promise to skate at the Olympics for both Soojung and for himself.  
  
“That was possibly the best skate I’ve seen from both of you,” Yixing hears Coach Im say. “You two have truly worked and grown as a team.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Your sense of teamwork has improved a lot, and… how do I put this?” Coach Lowe adds. “And the best part is that, you two poured your  _hearts_  into this program.” Yixing almost chuckles at the inside joke in Coach Lowe’s words.  
  
“Of course we did,” Seulgi smiles as she waves at the camera using a Pringles stuffed toy she picked up at the rink. “Everything in this program is a labor of love. Isn’t it, Yixing?”  
  
Yixing nods, still trying to take everything in. The free dance was choreographed by Coach Im, with input from Jongin. (“I‘ve been working on this for a while, and I meant for you and Soojung to skate to it should you two make it to the Olympics, but we know what happened,” she said when they first planned on program music. “I guess with a little modifications, we can make it work.”) The minute Soojung found out what their music was, she offered to help design their costumes.  
  
“I just imagined I was with Soojung instead of you though,” Yixing jokes as he pokes Seulgi’s ribs.  
  
“If only Jongin decided he preferred skating to ballet, I’d have had him for a partner and where would you be?” Seulgi snorts as she accepts a water bottle from Coach Lowe.  
  
Yixing chuckles and shrugs as they wait for their scores to be announced. They’ve joked about this topic too many times for any of them to be offended. Yixing truly can’t help but wonder things would have turned out if Soojung hadn’t gotten injured. He tells her these thoughts, and she always tells him there’s no use dwelling in what ifs. “They just hurt you more,” she has told him more than once. He comes to just as he hears the announcer’s voice.  
  
When the free dance score is announced, 99.12, Yixing’s eyes grow wider than he thought was possible. It’s two points above his and Seulgi’s current personal best. Combined with their short dance score at 65.46, they get a total of 164.68 into first place. Yixing can barely let out a shocked shout as finds himself in a many-armed hug involving Seulgi, Coach Im, Coach Lowe, Coach Wing, and Changmin. Around them, the crowd roars as if they have already won the Olympics. Maybe, they already have won in a way. It’s not a medal, but he and Seulgi have won the hearts of their countrymen. There are only five teams left to skate, and at this point, the lowest they can end up in  is at sixth place. It’s not bad for one of Korea’s first ice dance teams in the Olympics.  
  
Now that the dream to skate at the Olympics has been fulfilled, Yixing almost wonders what else he has to give to the sport he has come to love. Soojung’s retirement has pushed him to consider what he wants to do once his competitive career is over. All he knows is that he wants to help young athletes fulfill their dreams the way Coach Im has done that for him and more. If one child who watches his performance is inspired to go after his or her dream, then that is enough for Yixing.  
  
Every time he brings this up, Soojung throws him a playful glare. “Don’t think about retiring until you have to,” she hisses. “You’re not yet an uncle. You and Seulgi still have a long future ahead of you. You haven’t even won a World medal!” Yixing laughs as his new goal comes to mind. He won’t retire until he gets at least one medal from each Grand Prix competition, the Grand Prix Final, Four Continents, Worlds, and of course, the Olympics. It’s even crazier than his childhood dream, but he’s already here, so he might as well go all the way.  
  
As they walk out of the Kiss and Cry area, Yixing looks over at the audience, where Soojung sits with the rest of Team Korea. He smiles blows her a kiss as she waves her embarrassing banner at him. Ever since they met, Soojung was the only thing constant in this whirlwind life. Training, competitions, traveling, and languages become a blur in his mind, but Soojung has always been there to hold his hand. Tonight’s skate isn’t for himself or for his country, but he has fulfilled both his and Soojung’s dream of skating in the Olympics. Yixing will never admit this to anyone else, but Soojung was with him on the ice that night. Not just because she made his costume, but somehow, he felt as if she was in the rink, skating with him.  
  
“Thank you,” Soojung whispers once she catches his gaze.  
  
Yixing smiles before he replies with, “I love you.”  
  
  
  
  


-30-

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> \- Soojung’s injury is based on that of Gabriella Papadakis, a French ice dancer and the reigning World champion with Guillaume Cizeron. She hit her head in practice recently and let us pray for her quick recovery—and may she not experience Soojung’s fate. I also took elements from the injury of former Russian pair skater Tatiana Totmianina.  
> \- In the confession scene, the song Yixing sings is “You N Me” by JJ Lin  
> \- “I love you” in Changsha dialect is the same as that in Mandarin. The only difference is how the words are pronounced.  
> \- The song they skated to at the 2016 World Champonships gala was “Perfect” by Nell


End file.
